Nativity Figures' Exodus to New World

I received many outraged phone calls about the creche creatures trapped forever in a glass case on Hampshire Street. Apparently some fearless freedom fighter must have facilitated an escape for the holy fugitives.They got only as far as Elm Street. The first photo shows them in situ. Sorry to point out that there is blatant evidence of torture. Look at the electrical devices still stuck in their backs. And what's up with Mary's eyebrows? Their new homeland is not very secure, if you ask me, as they are right out in plain view of the dreaded 'House on Hampshire" from whence they fled. Looks like they 'followed the drinking (and eating) gourd as they are quite a bit larger now. The tireless and tenacious modern day Harriet Tubman made sure that the token Black Wiseman made it along with the suspiciously Ayrian Christmas crowd. Hell, even the animals are all white.(is that a duck on the left?) There is much speculation about how the escape was engineered. Some think it was on this bicycle. If so, it only got them to the corner of Hampshire and Elm. After lashing the bike to a post, the nervous nativity group must have jogged a few door down and are standing out in the open. Hope this blog post doesn't give away their location to their former captors.

Frightening Frosty Follow Up

I'll start by saying how welcome Tom Canel's comments were on the previous "Frosty" post. However, new information has come to light and it's not pretty. The beloved snowindividual has been discovered, tarred and 'feathered' (with some unknown kind of feather-like substance) and OH MY GOD! nailed to a door. His carroty nose is now irreversibly flattened, his hat sits squarely on his head but the two-eyes-made-out-of-coal are still there. (Frosty might be better off not seeing what has befallen him). Frosty's grin is a bit of a rictus-like thing. You know he can't be smiling. This, my friends, is not a 'jolly, happy soul'.The scarf is now strangulation-red and there are body parts (like the broom) missing. As Jim Calandrillo would say: "What a world, what a world!"

45 Degrees and Frosty Refuses to Melt

Yet another Christmas related puzzle has been discovered on--you guessed it--Hampshire Street in Cambridge. Frosty the Snowman, a tradition holiday personality made famous by the song, "Frosty the Snowman" was stumbled upon, standing up and perfectly formed while most of the snow in town melted and washed away into the streets causing minor flooding in certain areas. But not the intrepid Frosty who sat all puffed up up on the porch of 199 Hampshire Street. Looking all perky and defiant in the face of the January thaw, every detail of Frosty's persona remained utterly intact. Yes, the corncob pipe retained its jaunty angle as it continued to jut out of the snowman's erstwhile mouth. The two eyes made out of coal along with the three buttons of the same material appeared to suffer no discernable slippage. The same is true of the traditional carroty nose. The top hat, the scarf and even the ear muffs hung in there in perfect form. Close observation revealed a certain curvature of the broom to the shape of the lower body. Neighbors claim that this was the case before the mid-winter warm up. Scientists and climate change experts have no leads or working theories about what elements might be in play.

Nativity Participants Locked Forever in Small Glass Case

Another horrific post-Christmas discovery--also on Hampshire Street--has come to light in the recent investigations surrounding the disorientation of the beloved figure of Father Christmas. Concerned adherents to the Christianity aspects of the recent December holiday reported Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the 3 wise men and a menagerie of barnyard livestock missing last week. "They usually return to the spirit world." mused Father Peter of Our Lady of the Sorrows Church here in Cambridge. Representatives of various Prostestant demoninations called in the missing group of Holy People shortly after an ecuminical meeting of desparate representatives of the clergy. After going public in the pulpits with the news, callers on the dedicated hot line set up for tips were able to alert the authorities to the whereabouts of the unique and grotesque solution of the missing historical figures. Again, right on Hampshire street, they were found, apparently safe but locked for all eternity inside a small glass box set on stilts so as to be seen at eye-level. Questions were raised about how all these people and farm animals could fit in a diorama of such tiny proportions. Experts have explained that people used to be a lot smaller back then.

Santa Back and Ready for Action

Only a week or so after the tragic deflation of that Merry Old Embodiment of the Christmas Spirit-- a Miracle--not on 42nd Street, but on Hampshire Street has been documented. Yes it's Santa and he's all ready to take off again in his sleigh just 3 weeks after his last ride. Caught in a time warp? Some kind of Christmas Day Groundhog Day scenario? Psychiatrists at the Institue for Magical Thinking which specializes in emblematic holiday figures are still working on it. As of this report they have not been able to bring the mythological Kris Kringle in for direct observation. The photo was taken on December 17th and at last reports Santa was still in this Zen meditative pose prior to what he seems to believe is his regularly scheduled take-off. Pundits noting the lack of Santa's sack are convinced that the elves have not been convinced to put in the incredible amounts of overtime required to produce the requisite number of gifts. A careful search of North Pole headquarters failed to find even a single wish list sent in after December 25th.Commentators have also noted the absence of the reindeer including Rudolf whose nose was reported lit up at the Windsor Tap a mere couple of blocks from where Santa sits frozen in time and place. Perhaps it's all just a metaphor for a world gone mad, or at least a made-up world gone mad.