I Don't Even Have the Title to This Property and...

Today I received a notification from my bank detailing recent online payments made by me. I always open these, for some reason, even though I check my account almost daily. Let's see if we can imagine the look on my face when I learned that I paid my mortgage--to Chase Mortgage, the company who held the mortgage until July of '10 when I refinanced with another company.

Could Chase somehow return that money to my bank account in time for me to pay my actualy mortgage? Certainly not. I am now embroiled in a letter writing campaign that threatens to eclipse the volume of letters between Elizabeth Bishop and Robert Lowell, although these particular letters will not be of such a felicitous nature. All manner of printouts and information is to be included along with certain phrases which must be written exactly as told to me by the minimum wage employee(s)--I called twice, looking for a different answer--and the envelope must be addressed just so. And then sent on to Columbus Ohio where, when it finally arrives, researchers will attempt to locate the money. Meanwhile I cannot pay my actual mortgage until this is sorted. Color me homeless in 6 months or less.