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Wildly Interesting Books

  • Adam's Task by Vicki Hearne
  • Anything by Colin Cotterill
  • Auguries of Innocence by Patti Smith
  • Big Box Swindle by Stacy Mitchell
  • Darwin: A Life in Poems by Ruth Padel
  • Gehry Draws
  • Human Smoke by Nicholson Baker
  • Out of Our Heads by Ava Noe
  • Stylepedia: A Guide to Graphic Design, Mannerisms, Quirks and Conceits
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larrson
  • The God of Small Things by Arundahti Roy
  • The Long Fall by Walter Mosely
  • The Martin Beck Series by Maj Sjowall and Per Waloo
  • The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
  • The Wrecking Crew by Thomas Frank
  • Vermeeer in Bosnia by Lawrence Weschler

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Crazy-ass No-Brain Bike Rider

So you are this totally-devoid-of -imagination person riding your bike on the side walk on Hampshire Street in Cambridge. Okay, so you are on the sidewalk. I don't care. Be on the sidewalk for all I mind. But do not, I say, do not mutter under your breath, the words "On your right". whilst coming up silently behind an obiously overweight late middle aged woman who is doin her best to lumber along at a pace that would put a snail to shame. What? Do you think these words are magical? Do you think everyone can hear what you are thinking, but barely saying? And all this while riding on the sidewalk where no one expects to meet you and your confounded bicycle?

And another thing, (one of my favorite expressions) not every single living thing is blessed with the ability to tell their right from their left. By the time I can make out the words, uttered quietly in your youthful tremor, all I can really do is to get down into a protective crouch as you pedal by on your strong young legs. On the sidewalk!
"On your right, on your left". This is real hip bicycle rider talk for "get the fuck out of my way slowboy." Well, not only did you scare the freakin' daylights out of me, you caused me to lose my Zen attitude.
May you develop a strange neurological condition that causes you to only be able to bike at 0.1 miles an hour. One that makes you slow down and make sure that YOU don't hit the old lady on the sidewalk.
May you live and be well.
ps What is your mother's phone number. I might have to give her a ding-a-ling.

1 comment:

TomC said...

We should make sure that martha and Nick see this; they have strong feelings about cyclists' beahvior.