Panamanian Pandemonium

Posted by Jim Calandrillo, who's fled to Panama for various reasons

There is so much of the American diaspora trying to crash these canal borders that those of us already in the country are resorting to sand bags, leaflets, and gentle persuasion for the hordes to go back and get the good old United States back on track. There are people jumping cruise ships to land on the Terra Firma of the canal banks. It is so much a part of the American psyche. First we separated, revolted from the British Empire. Then we headed West in a manifest destiny to be anywhere but where we were. Then we fled to suburbia to escape the cities. Then we rushed to rural America to escape suburbia. Then we headed anywhere but here. There will always be a beckoning Costa Rica, Panama, and who knows if Belize is next? We are always in search of the last vestige of sane, affordable living. It used to be either Florida's east coast, or Florida's west coast. Now all the action is in the middle. A town called Zephyr Hills about forty miles from here is the new haven where life can be lived without the extreme traffic and hub-bub of coastal Florida. That is until Zephyr Hills releases its diaspora...to where? To mountainous North Carolina. Onward and upward! To North Dakota. Hell the winters are brutal, but you can get a home for thirty thou. And everyone is leaving, creating another lightening rod influx sooner or later. With global warming, North Dakota will soon resemble Los Angeles anyway. East of Eden, North of Concord, South of Fairbanks, come to the Kentucky hills with a bag o'money and settle down with the McCoys and Hatfield's ancestors. They've mellowed. And property values are affordable now, before they skyrocket. You gotta buy before peak, so you're not caught in the exodus.I hear some of the Baghdad suburbs are dirt cheap. Once life settles down there, you'll triple your investment. God knows by then Syria might just be where the boom is headed. So, while I'm currently in Panama, who knows for how long? Teira del Fuego is ripe for influx. Gotta get there before the rest of the masses discover it; before it's too late. And it's only a hop, skip, and a jump to Antartica from there. Who says you can't build on ice? So you buy a little inland Antarctica so if some chunks of the periphery break off, you'll be safe and be smiling at how well you've invested. And once the poles shift, hell you'll be north in no time.

Entry Into One Dimensional Environment Explained

As the first "entrant" into the one dimensional house, I want to urge everyone out there NOT TO TRY IT. It has left me exhausted; still recuperating. It took me months of training to perform the feat (feet) that I did, Voluntary Intra-planetary Body Molecular Compression and Alteration (VIMBCA). It is a dangerous practice, and must be studied under strict supervision. The initial "entrant" into a one dimensional environment experiences all the shear, Z-Forces, Cramp Convulsions, and Pre-frontal Cortical Lunacy (PFCL) that are the greatest hazards of this brave quest. Once the initial entrant (IE) has paved the way, so to speak, all other entrants (AOE's) can move in with little or no harmful effects. So, unless guided by an experienced VIMBCA Certified Specials (VCS), please, please, do not attempt to negotiate the dimension they dare not call by name.
Thank You.
Jim Calandrillo

For more on this riveting topic visit jim's blog: http://laperduttagente.blogspot.com/2008/08/one-dimensional-living.html

One Dimensional Cape Cod House

Universe Crashes in on Self as Mystery Poet Hides Behind Yellow House

We wouldn't have believed it if we hadn't seen it for ourselves. Luckily we had our camera handy and got this candid snapshot. Note: See glass of wine in hand of Mystery Poet. Click on picture for close up of Mystery Poet

Mystery Poet Lashes Out

'Tis a terrible thing to watch the descent of a talented (?) artist into madness. Oy.

classmates sharing tidbits indeed! why doesn't it include poetry, my future that is, may i ask? do you not understand the complexities of my verse? or are you adverse? indeed! what if Poe faced such rejection? i daresay he'd have gone mad. aha! that's it! you think me mad, don't you? oh, diabolical twist of fate. dear reader, do you not see? she thinks me mad! she thinks me off center! she suspects that i am in league with some diabolical force from which a vortex sucks the lifeblood. her critical barbs sting like a vampire's filthy tooth. oh, woe! she has set the rats against me. she viles my name. she does not want another rhyme to slither from my fingers to keyboard, to relieve pressure from my teeming brain. she is loathe to kindle within me the creative spirit. she stoops to conquer. she all but snuffs the flame of my candle or blows the snuff from it's little anatomical box between thumb and forefinger, so that she might see me sweat with withdrawal not from the drugs alone, but from the very essence of creation itself!!!call you? huh! why would i want further abuse, obtuse one? nay. i shall wither as so you wish: in my dark and dreary frame of reference, a portrait of the artist as a madman, sepia toned, and alas! caught like a spider in the vast david mitchell network.Oh, you'll be sorry, Ms. Lafferty that you were responsible for the day the poetry died!is this mad enough for you?oh, you make me so mad!

He Prefers Anonymity. Who is this Mystery Poet?

Come with your dangling participle!

Arrive with your gyrating gerund!

Apostrophe Now!

Please recollectThe Grammatical End Times are near!

Make haste with hyperbole and hyphen:

Onomatopoeia and peons alike -'Tis the age of oxy morons and wastrelsWho drink, eat, and do not treasure verse.

Come all avenging protagonists!With pen now mightier than sword.

Split infinitives and cleave dark derivativesRelease all bottled iambic pentameter!

Second comings are for dilettantes and dreamersArrive once and you'll conquer my heart!

Anonymous Bosch

New Blogger in Town (or not in town)

Oh My God!!Jim's got a blog!!!! laperduttagente.blogspot.com.

Making Music

We're listening to Geoff Smith's latest music. Beachtree, You are a lion and They took my things. The music is sweet and quirky and the lyrics are strangely enticing. They are on my playlist and they seem to stay there.

We are also revisting some of the grand old operas. Seems as we work more on La Barba it brings up the classics. Rigoletto, up until now, has been the greatest story of deception and betrayal. It's hard to believe that any thing written since could come close to the level of duplcity that Rigoletto presents. but La Barba does that with relentless passion and at the same time an attention to detail that leaves the listener breathless. Visit our website, How to Build an Alternative Universe (on the gate way page http://mysite.verizon.net/vzeeal5f/howtobuildanalternativeuniverse/http://mysite.verizon.net/vzeeal5f/howtobuildanalternativeuniverse/ ) for background on Lena and her tortorous struggles for gender identity and a decent aria or two.1:41 am est

Now that Jim is leaving us we'll have to postpone rehearsals. But La Barba will be back. Sorry.

La Barba an Opera

The cast is coming together nicely for us to begin production on La Barba. Jim Calandrillo will direct, Geoff Smith is music director, Malcolm Cumming and Fionna Lafferty have been cast in the leading roles.

Here's Musical Director Geoff with a member of the orchestra.