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Wildly Interesting Books

  • Adam's Task by Vicki Hearne
  • Anything by Colin Cotterill
  • Auguries of Innocence by Patti Smith
  • Big Box Swindle by Stacy Mitchell
  • Darwin: A Life in Poems by Ruth Padel
  • Gehry Draws
  • Human Smoke by Nicholson Baker
  • Out of Our Heads by Ava Noe
  • Stylepedia: A Guide to Graphic Design, Mannerisms, Quirks and Conceits
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larrson
  • The God of Small Things by Arundahti Roy
  • The Long Fall by Walter Mosely
  • The Martin Beck Series by Maj Sjowall and Per Waloo
  • The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
  • The Wrecking Crew by Thomas Frank
  • Vermeeer in Bosnia by Lawrence Weschler

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Panamanian Pandemonium

Posted by Jim Calandrillo, who's fled to Panama for various reasons

There is so much of the American diaspora trying to crash these canal borders that those of us already in the country are resorting to sand bags, leaflets, and gentle persuasion for the hordes to go back and get the good old United States back on track. There are people jumping cruise ships to land on the Terra Firma of the canal banks. It is so much a part of the American psyche. First we separated, revolted from the British Empire. Then we headed West in a manifest destiny to be anywhere but where we were. Then we fled to suburbia to escape the cities. Then we rushed to rural America to escape suburbia. Then we headed anywhere but here. There will always be a beckoning Costa Rica, Panama, and who knows if Belize is next? We are always in search of the last vestige of sane, affordable living. It used to be either Florida's east coast, or Florida's west coast. Now all the action is in the middle. A town called Zephyr Hills about forty miles from here is the new haven where life can be lived without the extreme traffic and hub-bub of coastal Florida. That is until Zephyr Hills releases its diaspora...to where? To mountainous North Carolina. Onward and upward! To North Dakota. Hell the winters are brutal, but you can get a home for thirty thou. And everyone is leaving, creating another lightening rod influx sooner or later. With global warming, North Dakota will soon resemble Los Angeles anyway. East of Eden, North of Concord, South of Fairbanks, come to the Kentucky hills with a bag o'money and settle down with the McCoys and Hatfield's ancestors. They've mellowed. And property values are affordable now, before they skyrocket. You gotta buy before peak, so you're not caught in the exodus.I hear some of the Baghdad suburbs are dirt cheap. Once life settles down there, you'll triple your investment. God knows by then Syria might just be where the boom is headed. So, while I'm currently in Panama, who knows for how long? Teira del Fuego is ripe for influx. Gotta get there before the rest of the masses discover it; before it's too late. And it's only a hop, skip, and a jump to Antartica from there. Who says you can't build on ice? So you buy a little inland Antarctica so if some chunks of the periphery break off, you'll be safe and be smiling at how well you've invested. And once the poles shift, hell you'll be north in no time.

3 comments:

TomC said...

Did Jim really go to Panama?

Tom C

Jim Calandrillo said...

yes, he did

TomC said...

Jim,
The best of luck.
Cheers,
Tom